Thursday, April 24, 2008

Pepsi's Junkistan

There are 5 reasons why I think the new Pepsi 'Youngistan' commercial is absolutely 'lamus maximus':

1) The extent to which these morons would do anything for a Pepsi is ridiculously ridiculous? Why the hell would that moron pretend to be an alien from Youngistan, all that for a Rs. 8 bottle of Pepsi? Got to a bloody store and buy one. Or ask me, I will buy you one. Its not a big deal. It's so cheap, even Ebay doesnt stock it.

2) Since when is Pepsi an aspirational brand that you would stake your life for it? It's not like thumbs-up, now that's a man's drink, where an old 50+ actor totals his car, breaks all his bones for a bottle of another Rs. 8 drink.
The last time I checked, even our local paanwala was gulping down mouthfuls of both Peepsee and Thumbs-down, thinking he would kill all the worms in his tummy with the rotten acidified colored soda water.

3) In the second Pepsi ad, where the moron gives a sermon on how 'Youngistan' started out as a joke, and then he gets in trouble when he drinks that fat bikers pepsi. First of all, what is a fat, hair biker doing in a college canteen? Also, A pepsi is not a bloody Jaguar, if he drank a scary dude's pepsi, goddamnit, buy another one? Sheesh, for 8 bucks you don't need to look like you committed a mortal sin. Noone ever died for a Peepsee, but several thousand have died after drinking it.

4) Did I mention, it's a goddamn Pepsi guys, colored/ flavored acidified soda water, not a frickin' Jaguar. There is a monumental difference between an aspirational product for which you would kill your own mother, and a Pepsi, for which you would fool a moronic Shahrukh Khan into believing you are an alien, just because you have a Dish TV aerial stuck on your head from Shahrukh's other ad.

5) Youngistan? Isn't that risky? What if Bush misunderstands and sends out his minions to find those weapons of mass distraction? I wouldn't want to be Indra Nooyi when that happens. The last time I checked, we were Indians, and aliens were restricted to ex-files and in small green huts on Mars.

6) I know I promised 5, but I can't resist a 6th lament. If you drink Peepsee boys and girls, you will become mush like Shahrukh Khan, and allow a moron to 'protect' your sister, since you trust aliens to outsource your job too. Why not a pug? Also, if you drink some more Peepsee, you would become a youngistani, you'd lose all interest in 'that', and only long for a Peepsee. So if you want to lose your mojo, drink up that Peepsi and become Youngistani *at your own risk*

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